Ending your long-term relationship probably isn’t going to be easy. But what happens next isn’t meant to be easy either.
Planning for life after you break up can feel painful and stressful. But that’s no reason to not prepare and plan for your next chapter. Whether you were married or not, whether the breakup was amicable or not, know that there are steps you can take to ensure everything goes as smoothly as possible.
In this article you’re going to learn:
- Why you should plan for the future
- Everything you need to know about uncontested divorces
- How to get your finances in order
- How to rebuild your life after a breakup
- Mistakes you should avoid
Why You Should Plan for the Future
As crazy as it sounds most people don’t plan for their relationships to end. No one thinks when they get married that they will eventually divorce. Human beings are wired to seek happiness and as long as they feel happy in a relationship they don’t tend to plan for the worst.
But just because divorce rates are high doesn’t mean you’re next. Roughly 40 percent of first marriages in the United States end in divorce according to recent statistics. That’s almost half of marriages! That means more people than you think have had to plan for what happens after a breakup.
When people don’t plan for divorce or breakups it quickly turns into a nightmare. Poor financial decisions are made. Emotions take control. These kinds of decisions cause stress and hardship that could have easily been avoided with a little planning.
Planning for the next stage of your life may not be fun, but it’ll make things easier on you in the long run.
Everything You Need to Know About Uncontested Divorces
If both parties involved can agree to divorce terms, then an uncontested divorce is the absolute quickest and cheapest way to separate.
In an uncontested divorce, both parties agree on property division, child custody, and alimony. There is no debating or negotiating these terms which allows you to avoid the lengthy and expensive process of litigation.
Filing for an uncontested divorce not only saves you time, but it can save you thousands of dollars in the process. Instead of allowing your divorce to drag on for years on end, you could be finished in a matter of weeks in certain states.
Speaking of cost, let’s talk about how much money you can save with an uncontested divorce. The average cost for a contested divorce can range anywhere from $7,000 to $15,000 or more. That’s how much lawyers and court fees can cost you. With uncontested divorces, you could spend half of that or even less. It isn’t unheard of to keep the total cost below $500 if neither party hires a lawyer.
In fact, almost 62% of uncontested divorces are completed with no legal counsel present for either party. Uncontested divorces are by far the easiest way to separate if you and your significant other can stay civil.
In order to file for an uncontested divorce, you and your partner will need to come to an agreement on:
- Who gets what property
- Who gets custody of the children
- Who pays child support (and how much)
- If alimony is paid (and how much)
Planning for these decisions now will make everything a lot easier later on.
How to Get Your Finances in Order
This part is going to feel like a slap in the face…but it needs to be said.
Planning for your finances after your relationship has ended is crucial. If you don’t take the time to plan for every financial aspect, you’ll make rushed decisions that you’ll regret later.
The first thing you want to do is take inventory of every financial asset you currently have. Bank accounts, loans, retirement funds, insurance policies, expenses; you name it. It’s important to know where you stand.
Here’s a quick checklist of the financial items you need to take care of once you’ve ended your relationship.
Create new bank accounts: Cancel any joint accounts you have with your significant other. Open new bank accounts for yourself immediately.
Update your beneficiaries: If you have life insurance policies, retirement funds, or a will you will most likely need to update who your beneficiaries are.
Make a new budget: Once the dust settles, you’ll be living off of a single income which is a huge adjustment. Create a reasonable budget that you can stick to.
Plan for debt: Any debts that you and your significant other shared don’t magically go away after the breakup. You’ll need to come up with a solution.
Preparing for your new life won’t happen overnight. But the sooner you get your finances in order, the better off you’ll be.
How to Rebuild Your Life After a Breakup
Okay, so that covers the legal and financial side of things. What about you?
This step is probably the one that people skip over the most. Emotional recovery takes time, and that’s perfectly okay!
You don’t need to jump back into the world of dating or make any drastic life changes immediately following your breakup. Allow yourself time to grieve and heal.
Once you’re ready, here are some ways to help you get back on your feet.
- Surround yourself with loved ones. Talk to friends and family about how you’re feeling, or consider seeing a therapist.
- Set goals for yourself. Use this as an opportunity to reset and focus on goals you had set for yourself before the relationship.
- Take care of your body. Eat healthy, workout, and get plenty of rest. Your body can only deal with so much stress.
- Don’t make any big life decisions. Moving out, buying a house, and relocating are all things that should be avoided until you’ve settled.
There’s no telling how long this will take for you. But take everything one day at a time.
Mistakes You Should Avoid
Even if you do everything by the book, you’re probably going to make some mistakes along the way. Nobody’s perfect. Knowing what common mistakes people tend to make will help you avoid them.
Here are some of the mistakes you should avoid during and after your breakup:
- Not planning for your finances. Just because you and your partner are separating doesn’t mean your finances will sort themselves out.
- Letting your emotions make decisions for you. Selling your family home for half the price just to get it over with? Poor decision.
- Not hiring a lawyer if you need one. Just because your divorce is uncontested doesn’t mean you should go into it alone. Ask for a consultation.
- Ignoring your mental health. Pouring your heart and soul into work to avoid thinking about the breakup will lead to burnout. Talk to someone.
- Trying to rush things. Trying to speed through the legal process will come back to bite you. Slow down and take your time.
There are tons of mistakes you can make during this process. But knowing what others have done wrong can help you learn from their mistakes.
The Bottom Line
Ending your long-term relationship is never easy and planning for what comes next can feel painful. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t prepare for your next chapter.
Remember:
- Learn about your options. If you were married and want to divorce, learn about uncontested divorces.
- Get your finances in order. Splitting up your money and budgeting will set you up for success.
- Take your time rebuilding. Breakups take time and it’s okay to let yourself feel sad.
- Don’t make these common mistakes. Learn from others who have failed and stay strong.
Millions of people go through breakups and divorce every year. They pick themselves back up, learn from their mistakes, and thrive in their next relationship. You can do this too!
